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WC-Omega
The WC-Omega is a unique god-level magical artifact held in the Dwaian Royal Crypts of Absolute Security. Only a small select group of people (not even the BOI) has ever been allowed to use it. The artifact's function is to suck all the shit out of the users ass, causing them to never have to shit again. The exact workings of the machine are unknown, but it is theorized to achieve its primary property using Anti-Faecium or perhaps Null Magic. Discovery In 1840 AP, the Dwaian Royal Intelligence received reports of a "growing vorticial disturbance" near Peter Park in the Arbono Province. Upon further research, it emerged that a sinkhole, which had been known to the local population for hundreds of years, had begun growing uncontrollably, sucking in anything that came near it. Wildlife, trees, even buildings were swept inside by strong wind. Aerial reconnaissance revealed that the hole seemed to go "all the way through", that is "having the appearance of a hole beyond time and space itself, as if the universe were a mere story, and some fool had torn the page." Several operations were launched to stop the expanding threat. First, a team of High Wizards specialized in Void Magic was put together and sent to the site to analyse it and look for solutions. The results were unclear. Most of the wizards were extremely uncertain as to what the cause of the phenomenon could be. One wizard suggested that it could signal the return of the Vast Succboy, who would, according to him "be in the process of unexisting his own unexistence." However, none of the wizards proposed any line of strategy apart from "acquire more information." Next, a team of experienced adventurers was sent to the site. They devised a plan to climb into the pit, securing themselves on ropes. The ropes were made of Harambium-infused steel, and so could hold an incredible amount of weight. The adventurers got a few hundred meters down the hole, without a bottom in sight. But at that point the winds became worryingly strong, and everyone except for one adventurer, Hubrich Fansia, went back up. Fansia continued to climb down, as he felt that the source "could not be more than fifty paces further down." Eventually, Fansia reached a point where, due to the intense winds, he could no longer climb up. As such, he remained in the hole for the remainder of the investigations, getting food packets lowered down to him periodically. When the adventurers returned unsuccessful, a team of scientists was sent out to test the properties of the sinkhole. They found out that the hole could not simply be plugged with something big, as it would always mysteriously shrink the plug, supposedly "violating" the "laws" of "physics." It was also found that the site reacted strangely to Anti-Succ matter, emitting a sort of crying sound. At first they thought they had something potentially useful on their hands, but it turned out it was actually the Anti-Succ matter that was crying, and generally being very scared of the hole. As such, the final research notes were "Potentially omnipotent, created a sentient life-form out of inert matter, absolutely terrifying." Eventually somebody found a big red button labeled "ON/OFF". Upon pressing it, the sinkhole disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving behind what appeared to be a toilet. This was the toilet now called WC-Omega. Caution was taken to stay away from the toilet for some time. About 4 minutes later, Fansia emerged from the toilet, yelling something about the food packets and his nut allergy. Everyone had a nice hard laugh about it, and then the toilet was arrested by the police. Further research by the Dwaian Scientific Commission managed to find ways to tame the powers of the toilet, eventually revealing that it could perform "colonic reduction", aka sucking the shit out of your ass so you never have to shit again. Research was then put on hold, due to the common wisdom that "an artifact can usually only does one thing." Finally, the toilet was moved to the DRCAS, where only a few people have had the honor to sit upon it ever since. Category:Entities Category:Artifacts Category:Succ